Tracey Cox - Dorling Kindersley: dating tips



	How to be one - how to get one!

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Top dating tips

superdate will turn you into the hottest date in town. Read on for a sneak preview of some of Tracey's top tips for a perfect date…

	Don't turn up late

Time is a powerful non-verbal communicator - the more important you are, the less you have of it. People of higher status keep people waiting, people of lower status don't dare to. It doesn't matter if the train was late, you couldn't find your keys, or a neighbour cornered you near the letterbox, the message you send if you're late on a date is: "This isn't important to me. I don't care as much as you do."

	Psychologically strip

It's a what-you-see-isn't-necessarily-what-you-get technique. Once you've established a certain image on the date, you then peel back a layer to reveal a totally unexpected side to yourself. Ms. Innocence who turns out to be quite feisty. The career girl who turns out to be shy. We all like to think we know the "real" person, and hidden depth is attractive.

	Look for the lover's steeple

If, in the early stages, someone plants their elbow, then leans forward with splayed fingers, inviting you to touch their fingertips, they're symbolically merging you together to see if you "fit". Have you both met your matching half?

	Look beneath the mask

Don't take everything at face value. If someone seems stiff and oddly false, keep them talking and watch for "microexpressions" - fleeting glimpses that give away how they're really feeling. Shy and unsure people do what's called "masking" - a false expression deliberately composed to disguise a (usually inappropriate) expression (fear, insecurity) behind it. Watch celebrities' faces when the Oscar goes to someone else. They arrange their features into a smile but you can see the expression of disappointment lurking underneath.
	Get them to lie down

A picnic in the park with both of you lying on a rug isn't just romantic and sexy, it's the best way to get someone to open up. There's a reason why shrinks have couches - people behave differently lying down to sitting up. We remember more and are more reflective because we're less inclined to move, leaving us more likely to concentrate. We're more responsive to new suggestions and to closely examining a topic - like your future as a couple, maybe?

	Get a boob job

Forget surgery. Push your shoulders back, stand tall, then tuck your elbows into your waist, letting the lower part of your arm stick out at the sides. It makes your breasts look larger and waist smaller. To complete the pose, put one leg forward.

	Leave a lasting impression

Don't ruin a great entrance by blowing it on departure and making a fuss about leaving. Insist on saying loud goodbyes to everyone and you'll look insecure and desperate to be included next time (Don't forget me!). Unless you can discreetly say goodbye to the host/ess, do it the next day. Announcing you're going could give others the same idea. Whatever you do, don't look back when walking out. If people are watching you exit, they'll admire you even more if you don't glance back anxiously.