superdate interview

1. Things have been going really well for you since we last interviewed you in 2002, when you published supersex. How has life changed for you, now you're an international "Sexpert"?

It's all gone a bit bonkers really - but in a fabulous way! I spend my life travelling and feel more at home in a hotel room than my own place. But I am meeting so many truly interesting people through my career and I am absolutely loving every minute. There's also the nice feeling that hopefully I am helping people and making a difference.

2. You have been to the USA to film an American version of Would Like To Meet. In your professional opinion, how do the Brits and the Yanks compare as lovers?

The show was about dating not sex, so I can't really comment about the sex! To be honest, I think as much as there are surface differences between the two countries, when you get right down to it i.e. sex, dating or relationships we're all human beings underneath struggling with the same issues: jealously, insecurity, wanting to hook up with someone who excites us but also makes us feel safe and happy.

3. Tell us about your new book superdate. Who is it aimed at, what is the focus of the book and are you confident you can match the bestselling success of your first title, supersex?

Superdate is a great book because it's incredibly useful. It helps guide you through everything from how to stand and walk and sit in general to when to touch on a date. Even if you're fairly confident of your body language, it's got lots of interesting little snippets in there which are fascinating for anyone. Will it outsell supersex? Let's see!! Sex seems to outsell anything though plenty of people are becoming just as intrigued by body language!

4. What would be your top tip for a successful date?

Try to make it not seem like a date. The people who get asked out the most are those who make people feel comfortable. If the person you're with says "gosh, it feels like I've known you forever", you're doing everything right. The trick is to forget about vetting them as a future partner and instead try to work out what makes them special, what really makes them tick. What couldn't they live without? What's their real passion? If you can find out that, you're a great date.

5. It seems that your three DK books all work in perfect harmony to transform the reader into a love god or goddess. Without superflirting you will never bag a superdate and if you go on a superdate, you're more likely to have supersex. Did you write all three books with the aim of them being used together?

It's funny because my first book (hot sex: how to do it) was about sex. Then I wrote hot relationships and lots of people said to me, didn't you get the order mixed up i.e. shouldn't we have the relationship after the sex? It made me giggle. Thing is, I try to mix up the topics I'm writing on so I don't get jaded and I have time to gather new, fresh information. I don't necessarily write the books in order but I do try to work it so they work together to help the reader become completely "rounded".

6. Your books are very fresh and funky. Do you think the secret of your success is the Sex in the City style way that you approach discussing taboo topics?

Probably! I aim for honesty and a non-embarrassed frank discussion, and then throw a huge dollop of humour in on top. The combination seems to work. I also think it helps that I try not to use slang. If you keep things on an accessible but non-smutty level most people can cope with the most explicit information.

7. Have you ever come across a sex or relationship problem that you couldn't solve?

Of course! I can't solve every problem, the same way a doctor can't fix all your ailments. What I find most difficult to work with are couples who are indifferent to each other and the situation. Love is ideal but even hate is preferable to indifference. At least with hate, you've still got passion and the people still care on some level.

8. Was it fun to make Sex Inspectors, your latest television show? I really enjoyed the episode where you were in The Body Shop telling the builder to exfoliate his hands before he touched his girlfriend and then showing him how much pressure to touch her clitoris with!

We had a load of fun making it and I think it's a terrific show. One of the main aims of the show was to produce a program that reassured people about sex and delivered some no-nonsense advice and practical tips. And I think sex inspectors achieved this admirably.

9. What do you think makes people stand out as sexy?

People who like sex are sexy. They sit, move, stand, and touch differently than those who aren't fussed. They're more body focused and aware and everything is done for effect - which sounds contrived but because it's mainly done on a subconscious level it actually isn't. If you want to be sexier, think about sex - I guarantee you it works!

10. Finally, what is the most obvious sign that someone fancies you?

Can I have two? No 1 would have to be eye contact - they literally can't take their eyes off you. That combined with the amount of time they spend with you. If you're the person they're constantly seeking out to talk to and they're looking at you lots it's a pretty safe bet they're keen!

This interview was about superdate, to find out more about the book click here